I've never had any time for patience. Right now, I'm constantly tussling with time. Waiting for: the arid, joyless work day to end, my phone to vibrate with a message that might make me feel, thoughtless words to manifest. Right, right now, I'm waiting for sleep to come.
In Zero Dark Thirty, the Kathryn Bigelow film about the hunt for Osama bin Laden, Jessica Chastain's lead character spends most of the film waiting. We see this most clearly - most literally - two-thirds of the way into the film, in a tense sequence involving a window, a red Dry Erase marker, and a stagnating objective. Twenty-one days soon becomes "100!!" and then the action all but explodes, but we're reminded that even in the movies, even for concepts we've been berated (bewildered?) into prioritizing like "homeland security" and "the war on terror," people have to wait. 
Maybe I should quantify my idleness, shame myself into doing, because I'm not quite sure what I'm waiting for but it's apparent that I spend far too much of my time doing it. Idleness without an objective, with no action propelling atoms of chance into place, is pointless. Transilience is a function of time (for now). I'm realizing.

"Like when someone dies, don't dwell on it"

Much needed centering c/o Jeffrey Eugenides..